Game night

Perfect Daughter did it. She graduated from the University of Texas School of Law with her Juris Doctor degree. She has made us beyond proud, and of course, she is the smartest little thing to come out of these here parts in a long time.

That said, tonight was game night at the Herewegoagain house.

I hate game night. I hate playing games. I beg NOT to be asked, not to be lured into, not to be guilted into,-- playing GAMES. Oh, the horrors of a board game. DH and I played "Risk" when we were newlyweds. It did not end well. Let's just say, it's been 28 years now and I still have no desire to roll the dice for Kamchatka. It's not like I took it personally when he stacked armies on my borders and then rolled the dice till I died. But, I have not played Risk since then, nor will I ever play again. You know what Scarlet said in the sweet potato patch? Yes, that's me, only not about not going hungry, more about not game-playing. "As God is my witness, I will never play another board game again. No, nor any of my people".

Well, they weren't listening. My people, that is. God always does. He probably thinks this is a good thing for us. I mean, it's not TV, or video games, or even sitting around and gossiping. It's good, clean, family fun, right?

Nope. I'm pretty doggone sure most games here end with tears. If not tears, then anger, followed by accusations and every now and then the stomping out of the room thing that is so "we're actually living in a sitcom now, right"?. There is no throwing of the boards, only because there is a VERY strict pick-up-the-pieces rule, but there is a LOT of me saying "I told you I didn't want to play", followed by, "But, really, we're having fun".....

What does Perfect Daughter with her perfect law degree have to do with all this? Oh, not much except that we don't even attempt game nights any more unless she has breezed in for the weekend. The kids coerce her into playing because she doesn't live here anymore. She, in turn, guilts ME into playing because she doesn't live here anymore. Somehow DH, who DOES still live here, gets to play on the computer or read a book while I am tortured through Scrabble ("Mom, stop helping him", "Mom, please help me" and "Mom, is sqaertz a word?"), poker ("Mom, stop betting against me", and "Mom, he's betting against me"), Encore, ("Mom, all the songs you know are drinking songs"--that's the Country Western in me--and "Mom, make her stop humming that stupid song), and tonight....Trivial Pursuit.

The Trivial Pursuit game that we own was purchased in 1992. That is literally years before Rowdy and Sweet Girl graced earth with their presence, and as smart as Perfect Daughter is, even she was kinda young then. I TOLD the kids they wouldn't know anything, and I would know everything, and they would just be mad at me. But, noooooooo, they just had to play it.

The first question? Who did Michael Jackson say was a bad dancer who couldn't sing? Perfect Daughter answered promptly, "Britney Spears." Um, was Britney Spears even alive in 1992? Maybe...but, he was talking about Madonna. That answer just put Perfect Daughter in a perfectly foul temper. "Stupid game," she hissed.

The girls teamed up against Rowdy and me. It was a little humorous, just watching the cards unfold. They would get questions about the alcohol content of Californian wines and Rowdy and I earned a wedge with "The Whopper is a hamburger from which chain?" No kidding. But, the girls were valiant opponents. Perfect Daughter reminded us all again of her law degree and said she would simply figure out the answers logically. Sweet Girl wholeheartedly agreed and from then on, each and every question posed to them was systematically discussed, decided upon and answered with "Final Answer" as the period on their declaration.

Here is a sample (true) of one question asked by me:

"The Ancient Romans referred to which body of water as "Mare Mortem?"

Perfect Daughter, speaking to Sweet Girl,

"Let's think logically. Romans...Italy....they lived near the Mediterranean. Perhaps that is what they are talking about."

She continued, "OR, I am pretty sure that is Latin for "Death Sea". Death Sea, Death Sea...hmmmmm."

Sweet Girl, earnestly chiming in, "It must be a sea that caused death".

Perfect Daughter, "Well, the Romans did go pretty far north. Perhaps it was the Caspian Sea. Hmmm. Death Sea, Death Sea...."

Sweet Girl, "Yes, I think it WAS the Caspian Sea"

Perfect Daughter, "You just like that name."

Sweet Girl, "Well, yes I do...but still, it makes sense. They must have been near death when they got there. You said it was pretty far north."

Perfect Daughter, "Or, they went to England. What body of water is there in England that they might have named? One that possibly caused death? After all...the Latin is 'death sea', right?"

I think the phrase "death sea" was uttered 25 times.

They put both heads together...whispering....finally--they looked up:

"The Atlantic Ocean, final answer".

It was almost hard (because of tears of laughter) to tell them that "death sea" in Latin was um, referring to the "Dead Sea".

Stuff like that just positively makes game night.

Perfect Daughter has already told me she will sue me for this post, by the way.

It's so great to have a lawyer in the family.