Trashed

I know it's not the usual holiday post, but trash DOES have a lot to do with the holidays. As in, we create a LOT of it. There are parties, there is baking, there are visiting BABIES, and certainly there is at least one 50 gallon sack of Christmas wrapping paper every year. And this year, trash became the overriding theme of my Christmas (well, not overriding the REAL theme...Jesus-- but certainly overriding the one of "peace on earth, good will toward men".)

I have no good will toward my trash collector.

A*****/******/R******* services, in a word--you stink at what you do.

City people have NO idea how miserable trash is to really deal with. You get twice-weekly pick-up. It's at a CURB. In a CONTAINER. Out here in the sticks, we are apparently lucky to get once-a-week service, and it is at the end of a quarter-mile long driveway, hauled out in bags on the kids' wagon. In the dark and in the cold. We can't put it out even a couple of hours before pick-up or some critter will shred the contents all over the country road. The critter in question is usually our Australian Shepherd.

Trash day at our house goes like this:

Me, nicely waking up the kids, "Good morning darlings. Please remember today is trash day and don't let Pip out".

Me, suddenly a bit louder as I hear scratching at the door, "WHO let Pip out? It's TRASH DAY".

Me, shrieking as I see foil and bits of leftover pizza scattered all over the yard, "WHICH one of you let the blasted dog out? Whoever it was gets to clean it all up".

Yeah.

So, for some reason, after ten years of relatively reliable service, A*****/****** seems to have forgotten that the herewegoagain family is a customer. They missed us two times in November. Now, I was somewhat understanding the first time, and they were somewhat helpful...they sent a truck back to get the trash. This still entailed much dog-watching for an entire day, but still, mistakes happen. The second time, I was less understanding, but they DID still send the truck back.

On December 21st, four days before Christmas, and two days after our huge Christmas party, they missed us again. This time, they did NOT send the truck back. In fact, I'm pretty sure they lied to me about the whole episode and anyway, by the end of the day, I was the crazy lady in small-town-Texas who wanted the CEO's home address.

We have had 10 fifty gallon contractor bags of trash in our garage for a over a week. This means that not only can we not let the dogs out on the property for the actual pick-up, we now have me shrieking at any and all to "shut the garage door". It's a veritable smorgasbord of yuck in there, and it is too much to be contained by our sophisticated system of Rubbermaid trash cans weighted down with old free weights from DH's college years. We can handle five (a normal week's worth), but 10 means that the odor from the garage has permeated my house during the most cinnamon-y scented of seasons. The mixture is not pleasant to us, but quite tantalizing to the dogs.

Last night, we braved the elements and took a chance that the freezing weather might keep most of the dogs and all of the raccoons away and DH put the trash out then. This way, if the truck showed up at 7 am (their claim for missing us last week...probable-LIARS THAT THEY ARE), our trash would be there. It is now after 5 pm, conveniently too late for me to make yet another call to yet another clueless service representative to ask if my trash will be picked up. I called them at 8 am, 10 am, 12 noon, 2 pm and 4. I did all of that and more (think, "threw tantrum 25 times") last week.

It just DOESN'T MATTER. They aren't coming. I will now have 20 bags to put out on...get this...January 8th (the soonest they will be back). I'm almost 100 percent sure they will say we "have too much" and not pick it up. That is, if they even come.

The really stinky part (sorry) of all this is that this is the one service in the WORLD that requires you (me) to pay three months in advance. I am now paid-up for non-service through February. I pay promptly but they still seem to pass by our ever-growing pile of trash bags on our non-congested, non-populated, non-even-leafy-in-the-winter-time country road.

I hate them.

I have left messages with "supervisors" whose voice mail assures me that they return all calls within one working day (nope). I have emailed R******* Services whose website exclaims that they are the happiest of all waste companies (and the largest) and will answer any emails within two business days (double nope). I am now SLAMMING them on my blog, which is read WORLD WIDE. Take that, you no-good garbage men.

And, yes, tomorrow I will load up the herewegoagain little station wagon with all that trash and go to the dump. I'm truly grateful for all the hand sanitizer and room deodorizers I received in my stocking. I'll be using them.