Chin ups please
In the Bible, Job says (my paraphrase), "That which I have feared most has come upon me".
Well, I'm not equating myself to Job by any means, but wow, those words have suddenly taken on real meaning to me.
It's all about the chins.
When I was in high school, a dear friend of mine had the most glamorous of mothers. She dressed in silks, had exquisitely coiffed hair, hosted teas and lavish parties, smoked little black cigarettes and even had glasses on a delicate gold chain around her neck. Her LARGE neck. Other than the glamor, what I most remember is that her chin (s) started with her lower lip and went directly to her ample bosom. I was actually rather enthralled by the whole look, while being horrified at the same time. Never, I thought, had I seen anyone who looked quite like that. And never, I thought, could I BEAR to look like that.
Well, it's happened.
The photos came back from the wedding. I have become her (sans the black cigarettes, any evidence of elegance and certainly not the hair). What I have feared most has come upon me. I looked like a cross between Jabba the Hutt and Camryn Mannheim (the year she said her Emmy was for the "big girls"). Even as I lose weight, the chins multiply. It's not a exclusively a weight thing, it seems to also be an age thing and a gravity thing.
Now, instead of admiring people for their intellect, or their lovely families, or their interesting hobbies, I find myself admiring their sharp chins. Who ever said that sharp chins were "witchy"? I think they are most fetching. I can tell you this, I bet Cinderalla's chin did NOT age nearly as well as the wicked stepmother's.
It's kind of fun to blog about this, while inside I just cringe. WEDDING PICTURES! These will go in albums, to be passed around at family reunions and even worse...to be passed around fifty years later at the kids' and grandkids' weddings. I'm definitely scheduling some plastic surgery in the next year or two...would it be too much to ask for a "re-do" of the wedding at that time?
All I can say to you twenty-somethings out there...the photos you think are horrible now, you will be dragging out later and framing and displaying. Take advantage of your youth. Record it. Other than Oprah, most of us don't look better at 45. And, stay away from wedding photographers at all costs when you are older. You'll feel better and likely not go to jail for manslaughter.
Now I'm off to check out plastic surgeons and their payment plans.
Well, I'm not equating myself to Job by any means, but wow, those words have suddenly taken on real meaning to me.
It's all about the chins.
When I was in high school, a dear friend of mine had the most glamorous of mothers. She dressed in silks, had exquisitely coiffed hair, hosted teas and lavish parties, smoked little black cigarettes and even had glasses on a delicate gold chain around her neck. Her LARGE neck. Other than the glamor, what I most remember is that her chin (s) started with her lower lip and went directly to her ample bosom. I was actually rather enthralled by the whole look, while being horrified at the same time. Never, I thought, had I seen anyone who looked quite like that. And never, I thought, could I BEAR to look like that.
Well, it's happened.
The photos came back from the wedding. I have become her (sans the black cigarettes, any evidence of elegance and certainly not the hair). What I have feared most has come upon me. I looked like a cross between Jabba the Hutt and Camryn Mannheim (the year she said her Emmy was for the "big girls"). Even as I lose weight, the chins multiply. It's not a exclusively a weight thing, it seems to also be an age thing and a gravity thing.
Now, instead of admiring people for their intellect, or their lovely families, or their interesting hobbies, I find myself admiring their sharp chins. Who ever said that sharp chins were "witchy"? I think they are most fetching. I can tell you this, I bet Cinderalla's chin did NOT age nearly as well as the wicked stepmother's.
It's kind of fun to blog about this, while inside I just cringe. WEDDING PICTURES! These will go in albums, to be passed around at family reunions and even worse...to be passed around fifty years later at the kids' and grandkids' weddings. I'm definitely scheduling some plastic surgery in the next year or two...would it be too much to ask for a "re-do" of the wedding at that time?
All I can say to you twenty-somethings out there...the photos you think are horrible now, you will be dragging out later and framing and displaying. Take advantage of your youth. Record it. Other than Oprah, most of us don't look better at 45. And, stay away from wedding photographers at all costs when you are older. You'll feel better and likely not go to jail for manslaughter.
Now I'm off to check out plastic surgeons and their payment plans.
posted by herewegoagain at
12:15 PM
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