To eat or not to eat
I need to not eat. Ever. It's gotten to the point where I think the phrase "suicide by eating" might be used at my funeral.
Here's the thing. If you want to stop smoking, you just "stop smoking". Cold turkey. Done. Chew gum. Eat more. If you are getting off drugs, well, you might have to do some rehab...but once again, just "stop". And eat more. If you think you are shopping too much, you cut up the credit cards and park the car in the garage. And eat more.
But, you sort of, kind of, have to eat. I mean, not me personally, because I could live off stored fat for at least a year. But people in general just can't stop eating. You have to eat "a little". A little chicken, a few carrots and no sugar. And smile while you're doing it.
Today I stocked up on Lean Cuisines. I LOVE Lean Cuisines. The problem is, after wolfing down a "cafe classic", and licking the plate, I'm always looking around for more. I had my Lean Cuisine and water tonight. I felt in control. I felt thin. I felt stylish.
I felt HUNGRY.
My 290 calorie turkey dinner was rapidly followed by chips, which were rapidly followed by sugar cookies, which seemed to be tastier followed by Hershey Kisses.
(Um, while I was stocking up on Lean Cuisine, I just happened to stock up on Hershey Kisses. Just for an emergency. Just because they were $1.20 a bag after Christmas. Not because I thought I would ever, ever eat one. Or two. Or two bags.)
So, my problem is that I need to stop all eating. At once. Because I think when I start, I can't stop. And everything needs its chaser. Really...binge on something sweet, and you've just got to have something salty. That needs something sweet again, and if it was crunchy, then you're going to have to go for creamy. Somehow in this whole crazy equation, the word "salad" never comes up.
Have I mentioned that I have a weight problem?
So, my New Year's Resolution is simple. Stop eating. Not, start eating healthy. Not, stop eating sugar. Not, eat more chicken. Just STOP EATING.
If I'm not eating, can I still have shakes from Sonic? That's drinking, right?
Here's the thing. If you want to stop smoking, you just "stop smoking". Cold turkey. Done. Chew gum. Eat more. If you are getting off drugs, well, you might have to do some rehab...but once again, just "stop". And eat more. If you think you are shopping too much, you cut up the credit cards and park the car in the garage. And eat more.
But, you sort of, kind of, have to eat. I mean, not me personally, because I could live off stored fat for at least a year. But people in general just can't stop eating. You have to eat "a little". A little chicken, a few carrots and no sugar. And smile while you're doing it.
Today I stocked up on Lean Cuisines. I LOVE Lean Cuisines. The problem is, after wolfing down a "cafe classic", and licking the plate, I'm always looking around for more. I had my Lean Cuisine and water tonight. I felt in control. I felt thin. I felt stylish.
I felt HUNGRY.
My 290 calorie turkey dinner was rapidly followed by chips, which were rapidly followed by sugar cookies, which seemed to be tastier followed by Hershey Kisses.
(Um, while I was stocking up on Lean Cuisine, I just happened to stock up on Hershey Kisses. Just for an emergency. Just because they were $1.20 a bag after Christmas. Not because I thought I would ever, ever eat one. Or two. Or two bags.)
So, my problem is that I need to stop all eating. At once. Because I think when I start, I can't stop. And everything needs its chaser. Really...binge on something sweet, and you've just got to have something salty. That needs something sweet again, and if it was crunchy, then you're going to have to go for creamy. Somehow in this whole crazy equation, the word "salad" never comes up.
Have I mentioned that I have a weight problem?
So, my New Year's Resolution is simple. Stop eating. Not, start eating healthy. Not, stop eating sugar. Not, eat more chicken. Just STOP EATING.
If I'm not eating, can I still have shakes from Sonic? That's drinking, right?
posted by herewegoagain at
11:13 PM
7 Comments:
you poor thing. I really feel for you. And you and I WOULD have the stomach problems... *sigh*
You need to have my diet that I listed on my site. It is a sad, sad day in my life. You will see why. :)
By
Anonymous, at 5:26 PM
Stumbling across your blog was random, but your rather witty description of the eating dilemma hit close to home. Yesterday I decided that I wanted to "look better, feel better" in 2006 and my husband and I spent a good 2 hours checking out local gyms and rec centers we might join. Having found nothing that quite met our needs, we returned home and split a giant homemade peanut butter cup. Oh well.
By
Maria, at 8:33 AM
Yum, homemade peanut butter cups! Do you have a recipe??? Just in case, not that I'll eat chocolate again in 2006....
HAILEY! If I was a really nice person, I would be on the diet with you. I'm praying for you...you know I'm there for you. I "get" the stomach thing, unfortunately. NO one understands what you are going through like I do.
Happy First and no more sugar....
By
herewegoagain, at 9:35 AM
I love peanut butter cups. I could write poetry about peanut butter cups.
So, I woke up this morning with the same resolution, literally "no more eating"...then someone (ahem) said "what does everybody want for breakfast?" I realized, I'm a SOCIAL eater!!!! It's awful. If food is made and other people are eating, I HAVE to. Food is just so... out there in the world...everywhere...tempting us.
By
Anonymous, at 10:21 AM
LOL Amy. I am rarely actually hungry. I eat just for the fun of it. I take great pleasure in eating, not that I am a glutton or anything, I just rarely eat for the pure need of it, I eat for the pure joy of it. :)
You should write a book of poetry on peanut butter cups, chocolate, and any other food you can think of and get it published. How interesting would that be?! :)
And yes, I will be on this diet for a few months, than I will ba ALL better. Afterwards I will virtually be able to eat anything I want to and not have to worry about my stomach. Meanwhile, you will be in the same boat you have always been in. Eating something you really enjoy and then seriously regretting it. I prefer to live the guilt free life. ;)Are you sure you don't want to join me? :)
By
Anonymous, at 4:39 PM
I would join you if I could....
However, I AM a glutton.
sad.
By
herewegoagain, at 9:19 PM
I'm the husband of NavyBride, who made the comment about peanut butter cups. She turned me on to your journal and I really enjoy it! I got a good laugh out of your descriptions of everyday things. Thanks for writing. I'll be back.
P.S. The peanut butter cups were a Christmas gift from my brother, an art school student and blooming chef in Savannah, GA. I'll see if I can extract a recipe.
By
Kevin, at 7:33 AM
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