Errands

I'm a housewife. I run errands. I don't get to actually "shop", because errands are more important, and also...for other people.

Yesterday we decided to make some Christmas returns. Actually, only ONE. It was going to be fun...perfect daughter, rowdy son and sweet girl were all with me, we planned on returning the one item (I must have done well with Christmas shopping this year), go to Starbucks, possibly lunch out, maybe find a good sale for spending Christmas money on.

We started out humming and singing and enjoying the weather. All was good with the world.

Then we got to the store. I probably shouldn't name names at this point (Mr. herewegoagain is censor man), but it was Target. The store with the red bullseye. The store with the bulldog. You know the store. I LOVE that store. Used to, anyway....

The two younger kids and I headed off to check out sales, etc... Perfect daughter got in line to return the pajamas she received for a Christmas gift. Not being ME, she doesn't like to spend the day in jammies (where did I go wrong?) and even though they were beautiful and she liked them, she "doesn't wear pajamas". In fact, by the end of the day, she had uttered that phrase so much that as a mother I felt compelled to add, "It's not that she doesn't wear ANYTHING, it's that she wears sweats. Really!".

I was browsing Christmas items with very cheap prices when I received a call on my cell phone. It was perfect daugher. "We have to leave. NOW". She hung up. There was a certain edge in her voice that did hurry me to the nearest checkout. When she saw me in line, she motioned in NO UNCERTAIN terms to leave my stuff and go. Well, I wanted my 99 cent Christmas snow, so she just had to wait.

I hurried to her after my purchase and hissed, "What on earth is going on?". She loudly said, "We are NEVER SHOPPING IN TARGET AGAIN".

It seems that Target has a return policy, or rather a "no-return" policy. If you do not have a receipt, even if it is clearly a Target product in perfect, unworn condition (as were these), you can only exchange, and only for the same number of items (in this case, ONE) for the same price, or more, from the same dept. In other words, if she wanted to get a t-shirt or two, instead of the pajamas, she was out of luck. If she wanted a store credit to use another time, too bad. It was now or never.

And the manager was rude to her.

You just aren't rude to Perfect Daughter.

We got in the car, and she got on the phone to their "customer service". Only, with Target, it's not customer service. We are "guests" and they are "team members". Well, if we are guests, I don't want to stay in that house. Like, no one was offering me something to drink and a place to sit at the return counter! Anyway, after talking to many "team members", she found out the team has a "policy" (possibly a "game plan"?) and that's that.

We stopped at my favorite Starbucks to regroup. Only, yesterday, the cute little barista I love was gone. The store was dirty. I talked to the guy behind the crumby counter ( if it's a guy, is it a baristo?) and placed my order. He sighed and moaned and moved slowly. I had ordered some different pastries and asked if I could have plates and forks. For $3.50 coffees, is that a lot to ask of a Starbucks? He looked around, looked back at me, and,-- I quote exactly..."They broke all the plates. I only have one". ONE plate in a Starbucks. Fine, I'll eat my $10.00 worth of pound cake on a napkin, but could I have a fork? THAT was major, he actually had to leave and come back ten minutes later with some plastic forks and an even bigger sigh as he handed them over. He dropped four on the floor. I just didn't want to know where they ended up...

This day. Really. It was NOT what I envisioned.

We dusted off a dirty table, drank our $25.00 worth of coffee, hot chocolate and cake off napkins, and decided to go to another Target, get the stupid exchange, and never shop there again.

After fighting post-Christmas traffic, I found another Target. By now, I just wanted perfect daughter to go in alone. I meandered around the mall with the kids, and suddenly, sweet girl started to bawl. And bawl. And cry. She had left her purse at Starbucks. Purse? Since when did she carry a purse? Oh, since she received Christmas money, and a new watch, and a new pair of sunglasses...all of which were in the purse.

So, the day just got better. We hurried perfect daughter out of Target and headed back through the terrible traffic to the Starbucks. I called my brother-in-law because they live near that store, and he said he would go and get the purse. He DID get it, so we were thrilled and went to my sister's house to pick it up.

In front of her house, her three kids (ages 8,6, and 4) had a lemonade stand. But it wasn't just lemonade they were selling...they had a cooler with cold soft drinks too. JUST what I needed. I was looking through their selection when my sister told me that earlier she had gone to check on them and found out they were selling wine coolers along with the Pepsi! That was too funny and helped to salvage the day. No wine coolers were offered to me, but I did enjoy my Diet Coke.

On the way home, Perfect Daughter and I shredded Target to bits. Made fun of "guest" and "team member". Decided their stuff wasn't any better than Walmart, which takes back returns cheerfully. I have been instructed to never darken their doorway again.

I'm sad. I like Target. Drat.

That's one less errand I'll be making. I guess, once a Walmart girl, always a Walmart girl.

And we're going there today.