Oh Rats
As I posted before (see "Fleas"), I'm trying to rehab an old rent house that belongs to my brother. I'm just helping out, in my limited way. Mostly calling "the pros" in to deal with the myriads of problems that exist in a 120-year-old cottage that was rented for the last seven years to "mr. and mrs. not-so-clean (and dog)".
This week, I sweet-talked mr. herewegoagain into venturing into the house to put together some beds. As we moved the frames to the rooms, we saw evidence of, um, vermin. The house is empty, and it sits under pecan trees, next to a flowing creek. The mice have been partying there nightly, apparently for some time.
As I cajoled mr. herewegoagain and the kids to "pretty, pretty, pretty please stay and put the beds together", I promised to deal with the unwelcome visitors. I went to the local hardware store and bought every kind of poison they had. With gloved hands, I distributed it evenly throughout the house. Hubby and kids finished putting the bunks up, literally ran from the house and took baths in antibacterial wet-wipes in the herewegoagain-wagon. Whew. Job done.
The next day I realized. What if the poison works? What if I have to go and pick up DEAD RATS? My sisterly devotion doesn't include that. At any price. I did have janitorial cleaners coming out that day and I called to see if that included "rat removal". Um, no.
OK, sitting at the table, I mused aloud..."I would pay someone $10.00 per rat to remove it". Rowdy son sat up a little straighter in his chair. "I'll do it for $10.00, Mom!". (This is the boy who needed latex gloves to even WALK into that house.) I said, "Well, OK...." and then perfect daughter chimed in, "What? Aren't you taking bids? I'm the poor Senate intern here....I'll do it for $8.00". I stared at her, "Are you serious?"...meanwhile, rowdy son jumped in with " $5.00 each", to which she replied, "I'll do it for $4.00".
OK, we were bidding on RAT REMOVAL....at the breakfast table no less. Finally I said to perfect daughter, "Is $4.00 your lowest price?" and she said, "Yes, I do have my standards". Rowdy son took a different tack..."How about $5.00 per rat and $2.00 per mouse?" (I was proud of this because it took some math skills to figure out the likelihood of more mice than rats would add up to a bigger paycheck--go homeschooling!).
I sat there, surrounded by tea things, crystal, lovely fruit and pancakes...and made my Solomon-like decision. "OK,-- rowdy son, perfect daughter gets today's rats because she is just visiting, and you can get ALL the rats for the rest of the summer".
Don't you think I'm being fair?
(P.S. to add...there were no dead rats when we got there. And if you are reading this now, just know that mr. herewegoagain is 75 percent likely to ask me to remove this post as he really hates the world to know I take dead-rat-removal bids from my children at the breakfast table. Great blog fodder that it is.....)
This week, I sweet-talked mr. herewegoagain into venturing into the house to put together some beds. As we moved the frames to the rooms, we saw evidence of, um, vermin. The house is empty, and it sits under pecan trees, next to a flowing creek. The mice have been partying there nightly, apparently for some time.
As I cajoled mr. herewegoagain and the kids to "pretty, pretty, pretty please stay and put the beds together", I promised to deal with the unwelcome visitors. I went to the local hardware store and bought every kind of poison they had. With gloved hands, I distributed it evenly throughout the house. Hubby and kids finished putting the bunks up, literally ran from the house and took baths in antibacterial wet-wipes in the herewegoagain-wagon. Whew. Job done.
The next day I realized. What if the poison works? What if I have to go and pick up DEAD RATS? My sisterly devotion doesn't include that. At any price. I did have janitorial cleaners coming out that day and I called to see if that included "rat removal". Um, no.
OK, sitting at the table, I mused aloud..."I would pay someone $10.00 per rat to remove it". Rowdy son sat up a little straighter in his chair. "I'll do it for $10.00, Mom!". (This is the boy who needed latex gloves to even WALK into that house.) I said, "Well, OK...." and then perfect daughter chimed in, "What? Aren't you taking bids? I'm the poor Senate intern here....I'll do it for $8.00". I stared at her, "Are you serious?"...meanwhile, rowdy son jumped in with " $5.00 each", to which she replied, "I'll do it for $4.00".
OK, we were bidding on RAT REMOVAL....at the breakfast table no less. Finally I said to perfect daughter, "Is $4.00 your lowest price?" and she said, "Yes, I do have my standards". Rowdy son took a different tack..."How about $5.00 per rat and $2.00 per mouse?" (I was proud of this because it took some math skills to figure out the likelihood of more mice than rats would add up to a bigger paycheck--go homeschooling!).
I sat there, surrounded by tea things, crystal, lovely fruit and pancakes...and made my Solomon-like decision. "OK,-- rowdy son, perfect daughter gets today's rats because she is just visiting, and you can get ALL the rats for the rest of the summer".
Don't you think I'm being fair?
(P.S. to add...there were no dead rats when we got there. And if you are reading this now, just know that mr. herewegoagain is 75 percent likely to ask me to remove this post as he really hates the world to know I take dead-rat-removal bids from my children at the breakfast table. Great blog fodder that it is.....)
posted by herewegoagain at
3:18 PM
4 Comments:
A girlfriend of mine had a mouse problem while her Navy pilot husband was away. Her little mice were brazen and ran right out in front of her. Her solution was to throw a cooking pot over it, call her father-in-law to remove it, and then sit on the kitchen counter until said in-law arrived... from an hour away.
By
Maria, at 7:12 PM
But did she have to pay him? hee.
I wish I could borrow your cats. But maybe they are too girly to hunt mice...
It gives you a completely different take on "cute cartoon mice".
By
herewegoagain, at 8:26 AM
I wouldn't do it for any price. I, after all, "have my standards..." ;)
And about rowdy son saying 5 for rats and 2 for mice. I don't know if it was math work that made him figure that out. Honestly, I think he is thinking that mice are smaller and therefore should have a lower price. At least, that's what I would think...
And the world doesn't read your blog, so you don't have anything to worry about then. ;)
By
Anonymous, at 10:13 PM
WHAT? the whole world doesn't read my blog? Man, I was duped....
Actually, he did use math because that comment came after I said "there are only mice there probably...rats are few and far between." Quantity!
Tomorrow is another "rat-check" day. We'll see if anyone gets paid....
By
herewegoagain, at 11:51 PM
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