Eat something, you'll feel better

All my life, if I didn't feel well, I was told..."Eat, you'll feel better". Headaches were called "hunger headaches " (no joke!--no one thought of dehydration, sinus, eye strain....). Tummy problems needed toast and tea. Or 7-Up with a straw. If there was a health issue, there was something caloric to fix it. And we weren't even Jewish (or Greek)!

Well, yesterday I did it. I ate something, ate something and ate something again (repeat 1,000 times). And I don't feel better. I feel terrible. I've stretched every dietary theory to the max. If they do bloodwork on me for the next month, the sugar I consumed yesterday alone will show me as pre-diabetes. If they check for fat and cholesterol, I might have done my arteries in for the year. My hunger headache strangely is still there. Throbbing.

Yes, I was on a diet. Yes, I lost 20 pounds. I guess, even though I needed to lose at least 30 more, I thought that gave me some sort of go-ahead to gluttony. Or, rather, I lived like I've lived for 20 years. If I see it, I eat it.

Yesterday was anniversary day. Mr. herewegoagain had to work (poor planning on my end), so I woke up, not hungry (actually feeling hungry is something I seem to never do unless I'm on a diet), but headachey. Being true to my upbringing, I thought, "I"ll eat something. I"ll feel better". I had a pot of tea, sweetened with sugar and cream, and a pile of buttered and jellied toast. I took two ibuprofen, which probably helped my headache more than the sugar and caffeine-ladened breakfast, even though I was eating to feel better.

The kids and I puttered around all day, and since we had to run into town for an errand or two, we went to the grocery store to buy "anniversary cake" (you didn't think I was going to bake one, did you?). While there, they asked for doughnuts. I said "Sure" and of course wandered over to pick one out for me. Two sounded better, so we all got two (you know, because it would make us feel better). Lest I sound like a bad mother, I bought bananas too. Candy was on sale at the checkout and my chocolate craving was strong. I thought I would feel better with some chocolate. That actually usually does seem to work.

We got home at four, and I ate it ALL. I did start with a banana, but went downhill fast. The kids (bless their skinny little frames) couldn't manage more than half a doughnut each), but I ate mine, plus a candy bar...oh, and a banana. My dh never, never gets home before 8 p.m. these days, so I figured I had plenty of time to get hungry again before the anniversary meal.

He called at 5. What? I was so NOT hungry when he suggested a variety of restaurants we could go to. I'm sure HE was hungry, having worked all day with only a turkey sandwich for lunch. We all trooped into town to meet him, decided on Chinese take-out, and trooped home. I was NOT hungry as I unpacked the food, but I did feel "funny". I thought I would, yes, feel better if I ate. Somehow I personally did more damage to the rice, chicken, beef and eggrolls than anyone. In fact, I think I ate ALL of the eggrolls. And most of the crabmeat rangoons. And yes, the only fried shrimp. ME. Piggy, piggy, piggy me. And I wasn't hungry. And guess what? I didn't feel better!

Two hours later we sat and looked at the anniversary cake. Dh was looking forward to it. The kids were looking forward to the "intense chocolate" ice-cream I had picked out. I was looking forward to lying down. But, you know, I thought, "It's a celebration. I'll FEEL BETTER if I eat some cake with everyone". I'm trying to decide if "bloated" would fit in the "better" slot. Yep, it would.

This morning I woke up. I had a headache. I drank some WATER. I feel better.