Certifiable

I told DH I thought I was going crazy last night.

His response? "You already ARE crazy". Sad, but true.

I keep popping the blueberries (fighting Alzheimer's disease), taking my B-12 (energy maker), skipping beef often enough to enjoy it a whole lot when we eat it....and still, I'm losing it "up there". And I don't mean just my hair. Although, at my last haircut, the cute stylist held up a sad little wisp and exclaimed, "Girlfriend! Are you on any medications?"

Thin hair, thinner little grey cells. I forget anything that isn't written down, programmed into my phone to beep at me, or reminded to me 100 times a day by Rowdy Son. (He's perfectly up to that task, which may be the main reason God gives children to people who are way too old to bring them up.)

One look at my computer desk simply confirms my worst fears. There are actually four stickies on the screen. There are directions printed up and stacked in front of me to get me where I need to be this Thursday and next Wednesday. I put the printed-out list for what this house desperately needs at Home Depot in my purse (where I'll lose it in the wad of other important papers). I signed up for email alerts on all my accounts so that we won't have the electricity cut off in the middle of a dinner party. I call ALL my doctors on the first of ANY month so that I can figure out when/which appointments that I wrote down on the kitchen calendar are the real deal and which ones were a figment of my not-so-imaginative-almost-senile-mind. (I'm not kidding....I DO write down appointments on the calendar, but somehow I get the wrong month or day or something and it's not unknown for me to be standing in front of a blank receptionist at the dentist. Wrong day, wrong kid, wrong year. Yeah.)

This is just NOT ME. Or, rather, not the me I used to be. When I was in college, my clothes were color-coded in my closet. (They also were sized in single digits, were somewhat stylish and actually fit me.) My books were arranged by class/ subject/size and schedule. I juggled said classes with ease (Perfect Daughter will point out I had no social life to speak of, but I was very UP on all the latest TV shows--that being my major as well as my greatest vice). I traveled to and from the various countries my parents lived in and never once, not ONCE, got lost or missed a plane. I never forgot to pay a bill. I spelled correctly without Spell-check and I didn't drink diet colas.

I had a brain.

It's gone now. Is brain-less the same as crazy? Maybe I should have told DH I thought I was losing my mind. My literal-minded little kids would simply think to themselves, "It's with her sunglasses, next to the car keys....on the bathroom counter, of course."