On Being Fat
I'm not sure if I've used the above title before. Probably. I mean, it is the overriding, overarching, overwhelming thought that goes through my head. I'm truly a thin person inside a fat body, but enough is enough. This is going on 13 years of fatness now, and it's time to lose the extra person I carry around with me daily.
Here is how I know I've gained back the 15 pounds I lost last year on my foray into the world of low carb diets:
1) When I moan to my friends, "I'm getting so faaaaaatttttt", they nod sympathetically and suggest new and different low carb diets. Or Weight Watchers. Or stomach stapling. They never, ever, say, "What? You're not fat". Or, even, "Are you kidding? You look great!". Or, even, "You still have a pretty face."
2) When I shop, it's in the "big girl area". I was out of there for a year or two, but I'm baaaack. Here is how a recent trip to Target went--
Me: perusing cute shirts. Size 16W (which is not "W" for wide, as Perfect Daughter thought when she was 16, but "W" for women) and above.
Two little old women: perusing same shirts. They ARE cute. Just what they want. They look happily through the color selection. They stop in horror, and exclaim, "But this are for LARGE women".
Me: holding shirt up.
Them: looking at me, embarrassed.
Me: putting shirt back.
Them: loudly whispering, "I think we're actually in maternity".
3) When Rowdy Son wraps his arms (almost) around me and says he loves how I look--that I look "just like a mother is supposed to".
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I don't want to look like a mother is supposed to. I want people to ask me, incredulously..."You have CHILDREN?" and I want someone, somewhere, to ask me if my daughter is my sister. I would sort of just like to weigh less than mr. herewegoagain, even though he outweighed me by 30 pounds on our wedding day. HE weighs the same, and let's just say...I don't.
My intentions are so good. I started out today, for instance, determined to have a nice cup of tea for breakfast. The boys wanted waffles, and I thought, "I'll eat just one". Two waffles later, I was still feeling dietetic, and on a roll. Just, um, the wrong kind of roll. I had one or two for a snack. Oh well, I decided I didn't have to eat for the rest of the day.
After a lunch of pasta and more bread, I decided I really should think about another low carb diets. Obviously carbs and I are NOT in a healthy relationship. Lean protein and lots of cheese--that's the ticket.
That decision was hard to stick to when I met my sister at Krispy Kreme later. Seriously, I intended to have only coffee, but, um, well, the "hot" sign was on. WHO can resist that? (not me, and not anyone I was with either).
I'm fairly sure the combination of carbs AND fat in a hot Krispy Kreme doughnut is not the kind of food combining that "Fit for Life" talks about.
So, here I am. Again. Full of carbs, feeling fat and already thinking, "Tomorrow, I'll just have coffee". It's like a fat girl merry-go-round, and of course...I'm just riding, not pushing (which would qualify as exercise). I need to get off (or push for awhile)!
Here is how I know I've gained back the 15 pounds I lost last year on my foray into the world of low carb diets:
1) When I moan to my friends, "I'm getting so faaaaaatttttt", they nod sympathetically and suggest new and different low carb diets. Or Weight Watchers. Or stomach stapling. They never, ever, say, "What? You're not fat". Or, even, "Are you kidding? You look great!". Or, even, "You still have a pretty face."
2) When I shop, it's in the "big girl area". I was out of there for a year or two, but I'm baaaack. Here is how a recent trip to Target went--
Me: perusing cute shirts. Size 16W (which is not "W" for wide, as Perfect Daughter thought when she was 16, but "W" for women) and above.
Two little old women: perusing same shirts. They ARE cute. Just what they want. They look happily through the color selection. They stop in horror, and exclaim, "But this are for LARGE women".
Me: holding shirt up.
Them: looking at me, embarrassed.
Me: putting shirt back.
Them: loudly whispering, "I think we're actually in maternity".
3) When Rowdy Son wraps his arms (almost) around me and says he loves how I look--that I look "just like a mother is supposed to".
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I don't want to look like a mother is supposed to. I want people to ask me, incredulously..."You have CHILDREN?" and I want someone, somewhere, to ask me if my daughter is my sister. I would sort of just like to weigh less than mr. herewegoagain, even though he outweighed me by 30 pounds on our wedding day. HE weighs the same, and let's just say...I don't.
My intentions are so good. I started out today, for instance, determined to have a nice cup of tea for breakfast. The boys wanted waffles, and I thought, "I'll eat just one". Two waffles later, I was still feeling dietetic, and on a roll. Just, um, the wrong kind of roll. I had one or two for a snack. Oh well, I decided I didn't have to eat for the rest of the day.
After a lunch of pasta and more bread, I decided I really should think about another low carb diets. Obviously carbs and I are NOT in a healthy relationship. Lean protein and lots of cheese--that's the ticket.
That decision was hard to stick to when I met my sister at Krispy Kreme later. Seriously, I intended to have only coffee, but, um, well, the "hot" sign was on. WHO can resist that? (not me, and not anyone I was with either).
I'm fairly sure the combination of carbs AND fat in a hot Krispy Kreme doughnut is not the kind of food combining that "Fit for Life" talks about.
So, here I am. Again. Full of carbs, feeling fat and already thinking, "Tomorrow, I'll just have coffee". It's like a fat girl merry-go-round, and of course...I'm just riding, not pushing (which would qualify as exercise). I need to get off (or push for awhile)!
posted by herewegoagain at
9:55 PM
5 Comments:
hahahahahaha...I laughed so hard at your description of the day that started with such good intentions.
ME TOO! So I've decided my mysterious sleeping sickness is due to unhealthy eating, lack of vitamins, etc. After all, I don't cook, and living off Chili's and ice cream is not exactly...the food pyramid.
So, today I was off to a good start. Raisin bran for breakfast, and at the cafe Phil and I patroned for lunch I avoided the delicious looking burger, and chose a chicken salad sandwich WITHOUT french fries.
I felt thin when I got to work at 4 pm.
Then I felt hungry.
Then I felt RAVENOUS.
Then I gave in and got lots of french fries. I love Chili's french fries. This is why I should not work at Chili's.
Then I bought a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches.
Then Ashley was being dietary and didn't want the last of her nachos - I helped her with them.
Of course, when I got home, I was tired, so I plopped in front of the TV....with a giant bowl of strawberry ice cream.
Sigh. I give up.
For the record, YOU are adorable, and you are NOT fat.
By
Amy, at 3:13 AM
I laughed out loud when I read about the Hot Donuts at Krispy Kreme. My senior year of college I shared an on-campus apartment with four other guys, damnyankees all. On Saturday mornings we used to leave the District of Columbia and drive 30-45 minutes into Virginia for Waffle House, Krispy Kreme, and Krystal. The only times my roommates were seen before noon on a Saturday morning was when I put out the open invitation to join me in Virginia for some "South in our mouth". That Hot Donuts sign gets me every time.
By
Kevin, at 9:06 AM
"South in our mouth" is so my new saying. That hot sign should be banned. And why, when they are hot, do they taste like they are just spun sugar and zero calories???? The whole "melt-in-your-mouth" thing. Yum.
And, Amy, yes-- Chili's fries are gooood.
Well, now I'm hungry again. I love Krystal burgers too....there is seriously no hope for me.
By
herewegoagain, at 1:56 PM
I had big plans, while By the Sea was away, to lose the 15 pounds I've gained since last summer. Which, in addition to the additional pounds I gained since the summer before that has left me feeling blech.
It didn't happen. And he comes back in 2 days.
Now we leave in two weeks for brother-in-law's graduation and father-in-law is all, like, "Bring your suits so we can all hang out by the pool!"
Just dandy.
Meanwhile, By the Sea lost 15 pounds (!!!!) the last time he was deployed.
Yup. Just dandy.
By
Maria, at 6:00 PM
Men! They always lose 15 pounds just by skipping dessert.
Of course, I personally have never TRIED skipping dessert....
By
herewegoagain, at 10:34 PM
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