It's always cold and dark....
...when we have a dog crisis. And by crisis, I mean something that requires a hose, plastic gloves, and lighting many, many scented candles.
We had one tonight. Perfect Daughter rose to the occasion admirably and was outside in 45 degree weather hosing down her definitely-not-perfect Aussie. (Can I take a moment to add, to those who have issues with chihauahuas, that this scenario would NEVER happen with a seven-pound-wonder-dog). Yeah, our Aussie decided to chase a deer, we think (as we pieced together the evidence, which smelled worse than deer, but looked a lot LIKE deer), and he got the worst of it. Peeyew. He is now a very clean dog, and DH slept through the entire brouhaha. He might wonder at the eau-de-deer-doo/mulled spice candle scent in the living room tomorrow, but by then we'll be over it.
The sad thing (or hilarious thing, if you are looking back through enough years), is that this happens ALL THE TIME. When will we figure out not to let the dogs out at night? Especially not mid-winter?
Of course, it doesn't have to be an "outside" event that begins the fun. In 1995, my Sheltie ate an entire box of Valentine's Hershey Kisses (complete with foil). Considering Rowdy Son was born on Feb. 22, you can just imagine my physical condition. That might explain why there were even any Hershey Kisses for her to eat (let alone a whole box). I guess I was trying not to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most weight gained during a pregnancy, especially since I was pretty sure I was in for the oldest, fattest mom already. Anyway, she ate the whole thing. It was February, and it was late...therefore, yes, dark and cold. The vet met us at his clinic to give us activated charcoal. He told us to give her a bottle of ipecac and "Stand back" as this would surely bring up the chocolate. A BOTTLE. We gave it to her outside (cold and dark) and stood back. Nothing. Then the activated charcoal (and we stood back). Nothing. IN fact, she never presented the slightest symptom of eating deadly chocolate, but we did spend a lot of time with her outside, waiting, waiting. I'm sure we made a pretty picture...DH and his 9 mos. pregnant wife, coaxing their beloved pooch to "just eat" charcoal. (Which she did, of course...if food came from a human, she was on it).
Fast forward to life in the country four years later. Within two months of living here, my two dogs showed up at our front door covered in porcupine quills. Yes, it was late, and yes it was dark. However, we did get them inside, and sat with them (all of us) holding them down while DH pried with pliers. They were such good dogs and let us pull them out, one by one...hundreds. We said then, "We should make sure they are inside by dark". Yeah.
The porcupine kept us from sleeping well that night, but it was nothing compared to our first skunk experience. Um, can I say? February? This time, it was too cold to actually hose them off outside. NO, this required our bathtub. Anyone who has been very close to skunk knows that it isn't just a bad smell, it is a sickening smell. I mean, your eyes burn. You feel like throwing up as you yell and scream "BAD DOG" at your stinky little love. And the problem here has been that it's never just ONE dog. Nope, the two of them love to do everything together. I still remember the surreal feeling of being stuck in that bathroom with two stinking dogs, pouring can after can of tomatoes on them, (which only creates a tomato-ey nauseating smell, and turns white dogs pink). I got them to where I "thought" they smelled better, and put them in the garage for the night. Considering they are used to things like couches and kids' beds, it was quite the punishment. I googled "skunk antidote" and got a much better concoction...hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, with a little dishwashing liquid thrown in. There were precise measurements included, but I didn't mess with that...I was dumping bottle after bottle of hydrogen peroxide on the dogs and adding box after box of baking soda.
Our Aussie, who is generally a mostly black and white merle was now pink and red. He stayed like that for months. He reminded me of a kid I knew in high school who dyed his hair with peroxide. It was JUST that shade.
I still remember the total at Walmart when I checked out the next day. $86.00 for scented candles, plug-in fresheners, and ten bottles of peroxide. To this day, if you stand in a certain part of our kitchen and turn on the oven, there is a faint smell of skunk.
Also, to this day, if any herewegoagain family member opens the door and smells skunk, or sees a skunk when driving home, or hears RUMORS of skunks in the neighborhood...the dogs come in, and stay in. "Skunk" yelled in just the right tone will strike terror into my heart.
There are actually too many cold, dark moments of wrestling with dog(s) and hose to write about. DH has forbidden me to be TOO gross on my blog, so I have to keep many of the "perfumed dog shows up at the door two minutes before guests arrive" stories to myself. I will say, though, that we did have a rash of "incidents" in the four years that Perfect Daughter was away at school. As I watched her hose down her dog tonight, it did occur to me that MAYBE it was about time she took her turn. Maybe.....
Of course, it could be one reason she's heading out soon on her next life adventures. And no, she isn't taking a dog.
We had one tonight. Perfect Daughter rose to the occasion admirably and was outside in 45 degree weather hosing down her definitely-not-perfect Aussie. (Can I take a moment to add, to those who have issues with chihauahuas, that this scenario would NEVER happen with a seven-pound-wonder-dog). Yeah, our Aussie decided to chase a deer, we think (as we pieced together the evidence, which smelled worse than deer, but looked a lot LIKE deer), and he got the worst of it. Peeyew. He is now a very clean dog, and DH slept through the entire brouhaha. He might wonder at the eau-de-deer-doo/mulled spice candle scent in the living room tomorrow, but by then we'll be over it.
The sad thing (or hilarious thing, if you are looking back through enough years), is that this happens ALL THE TIME. When will we figure out not to let the dogs out at night? Especially not mid-winter?
Of course, it doesn't have to be an "outside" event that begins the fun. In 1995, my Sheltie ate an entire box of Valentine's Hershey Kisses (complete with foil). Considering Rowdy Son was born on Feb. 22, you can just imagine my physical condition. That might explain why there were even any Hershey Kisses for her to eat (let alone a whole box). I guess I was trying not to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most weight gained during a pregnancy, especially since I was pretty sure I was in for the oldest, fattest mom already. Anyway, she ate the whole thing. It was February, and it was late...therefore, yes, dark and cold. The vet met us at his clinic to give us activated charcoal. He told us to give her a bottle of ipecac and "Stand back" as this would surely bring up the chocolate. A BOTTLE. We gave it to her outside (cold and dark) and stood back. Nothing. Then the activated charcoal (and we stood back). Nothing. IN fact, she never presented the slightest symptom of eating deadly chocolate, but we did spend a lot of time with her outside, waiting, waiting. I'm sure we made a pretty picture...DH and his 9 mos. pregnant wife, coaxing their beloved pooch to "just eat" charcoal. (Which she did, of course...if food came from a human, she was on it).
Fast forward to life in the country four years later. Within two months of living here, my two dogs showed up at our front door covered in porcupine quills. Yes, it was late, and yes it was dark. However, we did get them inside, and sat with them (all of us) holding them down while DH pried with pliers. They were such good dogs and let us pull them out, one by one...hundreds. We said then, "We should make sure they are inside by dark". Yeah.
The porcupine kept us from sleeping well that night, but it was nothing compared to our first skunk experience. Um, can I say? February? This time, it was too cold to actually hose them off outside. NO, this required our bathtub. Anyone who has been very close to skunk knows that it isn't just a bad smell, it is a sickening smell. I mean, your eyes burn. You feel like throwing up as you yell and scream "BAD DOG" at your stinky little love. And the problem here has been that it's never just ONE dog. Nope, the two of them love to do everything together. I still remember the surreal feeling of being stuck in that bathroom with two stinking dogs, pouring can after can of tomatoes on them, (which only creates a tomato-ey nauseating smell, and turns white dogs pink). I got them to where I "thought" they smelled better, and put them in the garage for the night. Considering they are used to things like couches and kids' beds, it was quite the punishment. I googled "skunk antidote" and got a much better concoction...hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, with a little dishwashing liquid thrown in. There were precise measurements included, but I didn't mess with that...I was dumping bottle after bottle of hydrogen peroxide on the dogs and adding box after box of baking soda.
Our Aussie, who is generally a mostly black and white merle was now pink and red. He stayed like that for months. He reminded me of a kid I knew in high school who dyed his hair with peroxide. It was JUST that shade.
I still remember the total at Walmart when I checked out the next day. $86.00 for scented candles, plug-in fresheners, and ten bottles of peroxide. To this day, if you stand in a certain part of our kitchen and turn on the oven, there is a faint smell of skunk.
Also, to this day, if any herewegoagain family member opens the door and smells skunk, or sees a skunk when driving home, or hears RUMORS of skunks in the neighborhood...the dogs come in, and stay in. "Skunk" yelled in just the right tone will strike terror into my heart.
There are actually too many cold, dark moments of wrestling with dog(s) and hose to write about. DH has forbidden me to be TOO gross on my blog, so I have to keep many of the "perfumed dog shows up at the door two minutes before guests arrive" stories to myself. I will say, though, that we did have a rash of "incidents" in the four years that Perfect Daughter was away at school. As I watched her hose down her dog tonight, it did occur to me that MAYBE it was about time she took her turn. Maybe.....
Of course, it could be one reason she's heading out soon on her next life adventures. And no, she isn't taking a dog.
posted by herewegoagain at
11:52 PM
1 Comments:
First of all -- I was SO COLD LAST NIGHT!!!!! And bear in mind that your other lovely two children who were supposed to be HELPING me ended up staring hopelessly at me out of the window.
Yeah, no petting Pip today. Nope nope. I don't even like him.
In fact, it's awfully funny timing, because I was just thinking about how much I really did want a dog of my own to face the world with, loyal man's best friend and all. I was choc full of warm fuzzies about it until last night. Now, I have to say, my entirely dog-free life is more and more appealing!
(you should have mentioned the time when Maggie threw up at least once a day for.. umm.. weeks. Or would that fall under "too gross"?) ;-)
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