Ambition
Well, after my little vision to the house-on-the-hill last week, I realized that I really don't know anything about the people that I spend time with on a daily basis. I tend to assume that they are like ME...you know, have their "little lives"-- (as Oprah put it--she has a "big life", but even those of us with "little lives" can make a difference), deal with house repairs, car problems, getting kids up and out of the door on time, making yet another meal, cleaning yet another bathroom.
Last weekend was an eye-opener. SOME people don't live like that. In fact, a whole lot of people don't. I know this. You know how? I googled everyone I could think of that I have some contact with.
Oh my.
It does make me feel even more stupid when I remember my blathering on about "there are so many doctors in this town, everyone is a dr., even the moms...I am used to telling my kids to be sure to use "Mrs." as a term of respect, but now I know that they should check and see if it's "Dr. Mom""...I mean, I sat and said that to a group of parents on the team who replied by just staring at me. Yeah, because I googled them, and THEY'RE all doctors (one lawyer and one CEO).
Every single parent we have coached with is google-able. As in, they show up on the first page and have a bio. My closest neighbors are not only google-able, they are world famous in their field. As a matter of fact, their two sons are spending Saturday with us because mom and dad are off to a book-signing. Yep.
All this research into everyone I know's success in life has caused to things to develop--
One: intense jealousy.
Two: a strong consideration of the term "ambition".
The fact is, I guess I have none. I have managed to instill an inordinate amount into perfect daughter, who is already google-able and has many google hits in her future. Maybe that's where my ambition went? Into my children? I asked DH if he had any ambition....he said, "I always want to do well in my career, and I have goals in physical fitness, but no, I don't consider myself ambitious."
(His goals for fitness irk me almost as much as the fact that the other moms on my kids' soccer teams have doctorates.)
I "think" I had some ambition when I was younger, but having children meant it became ambitious to clean up the house, make dinner and get laundry finished. Ambition to my husband meant keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table. It was all so simple.
Later, my ambition has been to have as little stress as possible in my life. I can't see that getting me on google anytime soon.
Now, I dearly want to get that Phd. I'm like a little kid who didn't get the cool toy for Christmas. I think longingly of papers and professors and those three letters next to my name. Or maybe, I'll go to law school. Or maybe, I'll become an artist. I'm 46 years old and I feel like I'm six all over again--the possiblities are endless and the world is mine for the taking.
If only, if only--I had some ambition. Is there somewhere I could buy it?
Last weekend was an eye-opener. SOME people don't live like that. In fact, a whole lot of people don't. I know this. You know how? I googled everyone I could think of that I have some contact with.
Oh my.
It does make me feel even more stupid when I remember my blathering on about "there are so many doctors in this town, everyone is a dr., even the moms...I am used to telling my kids to be sure to use "Mrs." as a term of respect, but now I know that they should check and see if it's "Dr. Mom""...I mean, I sat and said that to a group of parents on the team who replied by just staring at me. Yeah, because I googled them, and THEY'RE all doctors (one lawyer and one CEO).
Every single parent we have coached with is google-able. As in, they show up on the first page and have a bio. My closest neighbors are not only google-able, they are world famous in their field. As a matter of fact, their two sons are spending Saturday with us because mom and dad are off to a book-signing. Yep.
All this research into everyone I know's success in life has caused to things to develop--
One: intense jealousy.
Two: a strong consideration of the term "ambition".
The fact is, I guess I have none. I have managed to instill an inordinate amount into perfect daughter, who is already google-able and has many google hits in her future. Maybe that's where my ambition went? Into my children? I asked DH if he had any ambition....he said, "I always want to do well in my career, and I have goals in physical fitness, but no, I don't consider myself ambitious."
(His goals for fitness irk me almost as much as the fact that the other moms on my kids' soccer teams have doctorates.)
I "think" I had some ambition when I was younger, but having children meant it became ambitious to clean up the house, make dinner and get laundry finished. Ambition to my husband meant keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table. It was all so simple.
Later, my ambition has been to have as little stress as possible in my life. I can't see that getting me on google anytime soon.
Now, I dearly want to get that Phd. I'm like a little kid who didn't get the cool toy for Christmas. I think longingly of papers and professors and those three letters next to my name. Or maybe, I'll go to law school. Or maybe, I'll become an artist. I'm 46 years old and I feel like I'm six all over again--the possiblities are endless and the world is mine for the taking.
If only, if only--I had some ambition. Is there somewhere I could buy it?
posted by herewegoagain at
8:45 AM
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