Why I'll Never Be Rich

I took my car in for an oil change last week. An oil change. You know, those things that are suggested for every 3,000 miles (for which I wait 5,000 miles) and generally cost around $30.00? I do take my little car to the Ford dealer for everything, only because a) the oil changes are a little cheaper there and every 5th one is free and b) I have a 100,000 mile bumper-to-bumper warranty that I want to be sure is honored.

BUT, I digress. I took it in and said, "It's got 90 thousand miles on it, so it might need a little maintenance". Boy howdy, did I light the "I'm-on-commission-and-I-hooked-a-live-one" eyes in my service manager.

He said, (and I quote), "Mrs. herewegoagain, you will need an oil change, a transmission service, a radiator flush, a fuel filter and a tire rotation. That will be $450.00".

Considering I had been planning on, well, thirty dollars, I was a little taken aback. But not too taken aback because something grabbed my tongue and made me say...

"Oh, and there is a little vibration in the car when it idles at a red light. Could you check that out, please?"

Never, never, never volunteer information about your car to the dealer. Your car should be DEAD and TOWED into the place, and then you can say "It started to shimmy at 50 mph a few weeks ago". That is the ONLY time to volunteer anything.

He said, "Sure, we'll look into that. I'll give you a call".

He called not twenty minutes later. His eagerness was discernible even over a bad cell-phone connection (remember, he's on commission).

"You'll need new sparkplugs and a new injector service. That is another $400.00".

FOUR HUNDRED more dollars. And dropped on me like, "and would you like to supersize that?..."

So, I called dh at work to discuss the ramifications of paying $850.00 for a car that is driving perfectly well. He reminded me that we had actually bought and owned cars for less than $800.00. "We'll cut out the radiator flush, transmission service, fuel filter, and injection service and forget rotating the tires and that will be that--just get the oil change and spark plugs."

I called my service guy back. I told him the corners we were going to have to cut. There was silence on the line. Then a sigh. Then:

"Mrs. herewegoagain, I strongly suggest that you get that radiator service. You have NEVER had that done (I have to interject here that I have never had that done on any of our older cars...we just waited till we overheated, THEN had the "service" done...a bit more inconvenient, yes, but certainly cheaper...). I agree that you can wait on the transmission and fuel filter, but you cannot, I repeat, cannot wait on the injector service.".

Because I am obviously still 12 and he reminded me of my dad for a brief moment, I agree whole-heartedly with everything he had just said.

"That will be $550 plus a $95 diagnostic fee". Diagnostic fee? Are you serious? This was because they needed to diagnose that $400.00 spark plug issue. Oh, of course.

SO, for $650.00, my car was going to be just like new. Except, that it already was driving just fine, and only had that "little vibration".

OK, so, just let me point out that my refrigerator is older than Perfect Daughter. That our carpet is older than Rowdy and even dirtier, and that we currently have two extension cords providing electricity to our hall bathroom that mystically doesn't have power. (Personally, I think a lamp makes for a prettier visage in the mirror anyway.) I don't know why it's suddenly dark in there, but I do know that I can't afford an electrician and the extension cords seem to do the trick. In other words, there are many, many areas in my life in which $650 might actually make a difference. My car? Not so much. But did I say "No, can't afford it"? No, of course not. Why do that when every American over the age of 18 has a platinum credit card? I would never dream of putting a fridge on credit, or paying out the price of new flooring, or asking if the local electrician takes Visa...but for my CAR? Of course.

The thing is, when I got it back? Still vibrated.

So, then it became what I call "a thing". I called, went back to the dealer, drove with the hunky head mechanic (Tim) who immediately said, "It's not spark plugs, it's a motor mount". Gee, loved hearing that after my $400.00 spark plug job with the $95 diagnostic fee. He took one look at my completely irate face and told me, "Don't worry, this is a warranty issue...it won't cost you a thing". Except, I do have to be without my car of all of this rigamarole.

I was without it for two days for the first "spark plug" issue.

I was without it for one day for the "re-diagnosis" of a motor mount issue.

I was without it for one day for the repair of said motor mount.

All of the days sans car required a ride home with "Tyler", the courtesy van driver. He is 20 years old, and loves to spend the 20 minute trip to our house regaling me with stories of allllllllll his car wrecks. SEVEN, and he's been driving 4 years. And three have involved injuries. So, that was always almost worth the early mornings required to drop it off to get it back not fixed.

I just picked it up for the fourth time. It has now had $1,000.00 worth of work done to it, been unavailable to me for four days...and, yes, the vibration is still there. Tim rode with me again, after my latest complaint.

"It's better," he said. "It won't be perfect." I tried to agree with him. "It's a little better", I weakly nodded.

I told him I was just worried that something was getting ready to break in the next 30 days and then my warranty would be up, and then...well, yeah. I think I might have been whining.

He looked at me very seriously, put his hand on my shoulder and said,

"Mrs. herewegoagain, you have got to learn to just enjoy your car". And so I drove home. I'm learning to ignore the vibration, and to appreciate that the money I put into it which could have bought a nice rug for the living room will now get me to San Antonio when I need to go. Oh wait, my car already did that.

Which is why I will never be rich.